“The psychological trauma will stay with me for life. It is painful even to remember this.”

“I never thought there would be a war. I reassured everyone, saying that perhaps there would be some provocations, but that there would be no war,” says Maryna whose name was changed to protect her identity.  

Before the full-scale invasion of Russia in Ukraine in 2022, Maryna remembered her life filled with joy, especially the days when she was a teacher. As she walks through the school corridors, half destroyed, half repaired; she seems transported back to those days when her soul and ears were full of the laughter of children. But looking at the destruction, reality shatters this idyllic memory, as the thought that her village could become a battlefield was unimaginable.

“I never thought that Russia, such a giant, could attack our beautiful Ukraine. I simply could not imagine it.” 

When the violence arrived

Maryna recounts how quickly everything happened; her first encounters with Russian forces were terrifying. “We watched their actions with fear, how they went from house to house, how they took people’s belongings, how cruelly they behaved.”

When Maryna was left alone, the terror intensified. “For the rest of my life, until my very last day, I will remember the Feast of Saints Peter and Paul on July 12, because that was the day I personally suffered.”

That evening, a group of armed men entered her home, Maryna had nowhere to hide.

“As soon as I opened the door, he struck me in the face with the butt of his rifle. My teeth shattered. My face was covered in blood.”  

This was just the beginning. After that came long hours of assault, intimidation, and sexual violence, which left a deep internal scar on her soul, as she recounts. “He threw me onto the sofa and began choking me. He pressed so hard with his fingers that for two weeks I could not eat solid food.” 

“The torture continued. Then he began tearing my clothes off. I resisted as much as I could, but our strength was not equal”, she explained.“The psychological trauma will stay with me for life. It is painful even to remember this.” 

Life under constant threat

Maryna spent weeks hiding in basements and kitchens of abandoned houses, trying to survive. Utilities were gone. She cooked secretly, avoided detection, and feared every knock or shadow.

“At that time, we had no electricity, no water, no gas… I did not tell them where I got water or food, because I feared they would move there as well.”

She describes the  presence of the Russian military forces as “constant, oppressive, and dehumanizing.” “They carried automatic weapons everywhere… it was very hard to feel safe, even in my own home.” 

The escape and the long path to safety

After days of terror, Maryna managed to leave Kherson with a humanitarian convoy, bruised, injured, and exhausted. Her journey to safety took days, passing through stretches of roads, checkpoints, and minefields. 

“When we reached Ukrainian-controlled territory, we got out of the car and kissed the ground.”

Medical care revealed broken ribs, injuries from the assault, and illnesses contracted while hiding in basements. With the support of the UN and NGOs, she got on the road to recovery.

From survival to advocacy

Nowadays Maryna works to ensure that the voices of survivors are heard, and that recognition, rehabilitation, and protection are available to all CRSV survivors.

“This is a terrible crime, a crime against humanity. I want peace, so that nowhere in the world people experience such horror.” 

Her story is a reminder of the pain of survivors that is translated into support to others the fight against violence and a clear demand for confidential, trauma-informed care, strong support networks, and understanding that the deepest scars of war are often invisible and can take a long time, or even a lifetime, to heal. 

Standing with survivors

Survivors of conflict-related sexual violence often face stigma, fear of retaliation, and lack of access to services. Maryna emphasizes the importance of safe, professional support.

Programs provided by the survivor's networks and survivor-led organizations with support of the UN, Ukrainian Government and local  NGOs are essential for helping survivors like Maryna regain dignity and rebuild not only their lives, but the life of the whole community without retraumatization.